|PC users must have some crazy magnetic field!|
|Written by L. M. Lloyd|
|Wednesday, 13 May 2009 13:04|
For someone who absolutely hates the company Apple, and has no use at all for any of their products, I have spent an annoyingly large portion of my life working in either all Mac studios, or heavily Mac studios. As such, I have noticed the most inexplicable and curious phenomenon. Even though I would be lectured at length, day in and day out, about how much more stable and 'crashproof' Macs were than those awful buggy PCs, I would see constant Mac crashes, sometime seeing one machine go down multiple times in a single day. Of course the user of the machine would always assure me that this was a total fluke, and that this was the first time in a decade of working with Macs that his computer had ever crashed, because normally it "just works."
For years this seeming contradiction drove me nuts, until I came to what is the only reasonable conclusion. PCs crash, and Macs only crash when a PC user is present, so obviously the 90% of the population who use PCs, all emit some sort of electromagnetic field which crashes computers. After all, Macheads have no reason to lie about their Macs not crashing when there isn't a PC user around, right? So the only possible rational conclusion is that PC users must directly cause Macs to crash by their very presence. Since it would be silly to think that the Mac is consciously acting up just to make the Machead look like a fool, the only sane remaining alternative is that there must be some special heretofore undiscovered electromagnetic force which causes Macs to crash when a PC user is in line of sight. No doubt this is why Mac users have to take their computers into the Genius Bar so often. It isn't that there is any real problem with them, it is just that the need to spend some time in an environment where they are sure not to pick up any PC user background radiation, so that they can decontaminate, and get back to their natural flawless state. Maybe deep inside a lab in Microsoft, someone has isolated this field, and is somehow compensating for it, explaining how PCs get more stable as the years go by. This might even explain why Macheads seem, from their recounting of their experiences of using Windows when no PC user is around, to get a Blue Screen of Death every five seconds when they try to do anything on a PC, since they lack the field the to which the PC is trying to compensate.
After all, to think otherwise would be to impugn an entire group of people as dishonest, and perhaps even delusional, almost religious zealots, who lie so habitually about the supposed stability and performance of their chosen system, than only when caught sitting in front of an undeniably crashed computer would they ever admit to the crash having happened. That would be intollerant, bigoted and offensive of me, and I would never want to be seen that way. So clearly, the only answer has to be a failing in modern physics to detect this exotic radiation emanating from the 90% of the population who regularly use PCs.
I am a modeler, animator, designer director, and avid anime freak. I have been working with computer graphics and digital imaging as long as I can remember, and I still love it. I have worked in stage, television, video games, film and even the darkest bowels of corporate America. These days I gravitate to more personal projects, and anything that sounds like fun.